Wed 20 Oct 2004
Queer Eye for the Joe Guy
Posted by Joe White under Random News
Last year I joked with John Gremillion about getting myself on Queer Eye for the Straight Guy if they ever came to Houston. I mentioned this to Dennis Arrowsmith, and he said he’d get Alex Mendoza, Max Weir, and Jordan Davis and they could do it. So we’re now in the process.
We’ll probably mainly focus on my home (paint and furnishings) but I am not above getting clothing advice, though my tastes do tend to run pretty conservatively. Anyway, here are the before pictures of my house.
2 Responses to “ Queer Eye for the Joe Guy ”
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October 24th, 2004 at 7:05 pm
*blink*
You know, I honestly thought that your place was exceptionally decorated already. The map collection is the envy of at least several people and the furnishings do not overpower the cozy interior space. If anything needs changing, it’s organization (PICK UP YOUR TOYS).
In the living room, I would consider moving the Toshiba to the bedroom and going with a wall-mount plasma or LCD television, to reduce the clutter factor.
You MUST clean out the small room, there is no getting around it. Only then can you have your smoking room. There is an alternative, though you will dislike it immensely: enclose the patio and make that your smoking room. This would free up the small room to be a true working office, which would give you more bedroom space for a small settee or some such similar.
Master bath: new toilet, preferably oriented at a 45 degree angle relative to the two walls. You should re-do the bath treatment entirely. And what happened to the strop I gave you??? New shower curtains, new shower head arrangement, better shower radio. If you really don’t take sit-down baths, consider junking the tub entirely and going to a steam-shower cabinet (ooh….)
Kitchen: what do you care, YOU DON’T COOK! — ha ha, had to thow that in. Clean out your cabinets, get some dinnerware, learn to cook five simple dishes plus a dessert. The Ladies will be impressed (only two you need to worry with, and one of them is Mom……..)
Clothes: your style is timeless and appropriate. But you should wear Western boots less often. Invest in some loafers and Eastern (dress) boots. Make sure belt matches shoes when leaving house. More chinos, less jeans, but that’s a matter of small degrees. NYT says untucked shirttails are ‘in’ this season. NO fanny packs.
Exterior: get me a sturdy ladder, a masonry drill bit and some masonry plugs. Bribe me with hard cider and cigars to come by and finish ‘trellising’ your climbing roses up the side of the house. A new coat of paint in a different color might be in order; however, check local codes first.
Garage: plain and simple, ask yourself which toys you play with regularly and/or cannot part with. Discard the rest –even the hovercraft. Alternate plan: clean out garage entirely, add insulation and drywall, replace garage door with wall-and-door, and behold! you have a smoking room that is totally separate from the rest of the house. This would probably also require the addition of a window A/C unit for summer and a room heater for the winter.
October 31st, 2004 at 8:03 pm
more hints: http://www.chron.com/cs/CDA/ssistory.mpl/features/2122328