Month: April 2003

Apparently, karaoke is very poular in Huntsville, Alabama; we saw three places just on the stretch of highway by the hotel: Bruce G’s, Mr. C’s, and one whose
name I forgot, because it didn’t fit the pattern. Mr. C’s was where we were Saturday, and although it was ostensibly open only for the wedding folks, there were
quite a few ‘regulars’ there that evening.

Kelli was *not* pleased when I pulled out my cigar…said I could smoke it only if I did a shot. I agreed, and Craig had them make me a Chocolate Cake:
Frangelica and Vodka with a sugared lemon slice. Amazingly enough, when you drink it and then immediately do the lemon, your mouth tastes like you’ve just eaten
chocolate cake.

Of the regulars, some were actually very good, some were ok, and some didn’t realize that the microphone amplifies the human voice, rendering their shouting
unnecessary. The hairstyles tended mainly towards mullets for the men and big hair for the women…and when I say big hair, I mean 80’s Dallas big hair…truly
impressive. There were lots of examples of another phenomena that I don’t think I want to mention on a webpage my parents read.

Our group started off with Monty Python’s “Sit on My Face and Tell Me That You Love Me”. I then did “Chantilly Lace” and Craig did the auction song whose name I
can’t remember, but he did it very well! We managed to live through some excrutiatingly bad AC/DC songs, some very painful dancing by the assembled regulars,
then finally got up again. Craig had a kick-butt “Desperado”, the place fell silent for my “Can’t Help Falling in Love With You”, and erupted in cheers to
Kelli’s “Bohemian Rhapsody”.

It was after midnight, and since I had to leave around 5am to get Ed to the airport, we called it a night.

But I still need to add the chorus of Craig’s song to my Quotes page.

One of the more morbid things my friends and I do from time to time is have a death pool, where you select a bunch of celebrities, and if one of yours dies
first, you win. In the last pool we did, Princess Diana barely beat out my Mother Teresa, and since she died by misadventure, we had to pay double. The way
things worked this time, the three of us went around suggesting names, rejecting anyway that were not known to all of us (I can’t believe they didn’t know who
Leni Reifenstahl was) or that we weren’t sure as to their actual existence (Saddam and Osama). We then did odd-finger to see who went first (George won), then
picked from the list until we each had ten.

George:

• Pope John Paul II
  
• Dan Quayle
  
• Charlton Heston
  
• Meg Ryan
  
• Pete Rose
  
• Ronald Reagan
  
• O. J. Simpson
  
• Walter Cronkite
  
• Mick Jagger
  
• Dick Cheney

JP:

• Ed McMahon
  
• Hulk Hogan
  
• Boris Yeltsin
  
• Stephen Hawking
  
• Chi Chi Rodriguez
  
• Yanni
  
• Buzz Aldrin
  
• Farah Fawcett
  
• Pia Zadora
  
• John Edward

Me:

• Strom Thurmond
  
• Yasir Arafat
  
• Clint Eastwood
  
• Scott Peterson
  
• Bill Gates
  
• Eminem
  
• Lisa Bonet
  
• Sean Penn
  
• Jeane Kirkpatrick
  
• Queen Elizabeth II

Stakes are $30 a person, which is doubled for ‘misadventure’, generally agreed to be some sudden, external event, but must be agreed to by all participants or
else standard payout applies. And, as always, participants may not hasten the demise of any pool entrants.

Friday I flew to Alabama for the wedding of Susan Kenyon and Herman Porter. Got into Birminigham at 7, then rented a car and drove to Huntsville. Really
pleasant drive in rolling hills, with the sunset lighting up the clouds very nicely. Got to Susan and Herman’s a little after 9. Snuck up behind Susan and
asked, “Ok, where’s the food?” Her screamof recognition was enough to set off car alarms. Kelli Estes (Diva-In-Training) was also there, and got caught up with
her. Craig Dodson and Roy Spencer entertained the gathering with songs, the crowd favorite of which was Craig’s own composition, “She Broke My Heart, So I Broke
Her Damn Jaw.”

Saturday morning I picked up Ed Benyon at the Huntsville Airport, then we had breakfast at a restaurant inspiringly named “The Coffee Shop” located right next to
the King’s Inn, where we were staying. After reading the papers, we went to Kroger because I needed to get a card for my gift which I failed to wrap. Went back
to the hotel and watched the last half or so of Shrek, then went to the wedding. Nice service, ~45 minutes, with gorgeous music by Ron Simmons, Ken Watters, Roy,
Kelli, Craig, and Fran Cornelison. They had all the guests gather on the steps of the church for a picture, and instead of a guest book they had everyone sign a
matte to frame the group picture in…very nifty idea. Reception had the food already laid out and waiting when we got in, which was *greatly* appreciated.
Kelli, Craig, Ed and I spent the time being catty about people, then helped clean up.

Before going back to the hotel, Ed and I decided that we needed cigars for the karaoke bar later than evening. Unfortunately, the Tobacco Discount Store was
closed, and although the Kroger’s in near me in Houston have decently stocked humidors, the one in Huntsville could only provide Swisher Sweets’ the customer
service lady said there was a tobacconist just across the river, so we headed across the bridges of Madison County and stopped at a the place, which turned out
to be a tiny gas station/head shop. The cigar selection was not as diverse as the bong selection, so settled on some Garcia y Vegas. We waited about 5 minutes
at the register while the one-armed clerk got sorted the day’s receipts, often wandering back and forth behind the counter, leaving gobs of money with easy reach
of us and the door. He finally decided to let us make our purchase, and we headed back to the hotel and watched a bit of Pulp Fiction.

Late for leaving for Austin, so the Karaoke Night Tales will have to wait until later.

Oh, and some new quotes are posted.

My friend Kitty Karn and my new friend Julia Kay Laskowski have written an “opera farce” called Sold
Separately that is playing at Ovations in the Village tonight at 8pm, and again May 16 & 17 at 8 &
10 pm both nights. It is hilarious. I highly recommend it. It has been very well received, and they are already working on the sequel. Do not let this
gem pass you by!

Don’t know how I got on this one, but all of a sudden I had to know where the term ‘dibs’ came from (when a person has ‘dibs’ they have right of first refusal to
the subject at hand, eg “I’ve got dibs on the drumstick” means I have the right to eat the drumstick).

Googling gave me several websites that referenced a 17th centruy game called dibstones that was
played with sheep’s knucklebones (!), in which when a bone was captured, the player cried, “Dibs!” The first recorded American usage, though, isn’t until the
1930’s.

I want my own copy of the OED!